It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
