why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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