i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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