i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize