goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
