i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
