Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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