She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
