party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
