I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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