Four minutes until I can fart!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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