i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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