I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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