Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
