Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
