This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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