I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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