i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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