how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
