i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
