How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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