the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
