dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
