i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize