My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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