hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
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Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
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rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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