Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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