it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
