FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
