so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
