so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't deserve a penis
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
