So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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