I'm so fucking centered right now
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
