i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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