what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
