and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
