This is not my ceiling
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we're making bets on your personal life
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
