Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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