i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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