My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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