I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
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high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize