we have officially lost it.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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