whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
