OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
