He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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