you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
