and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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