Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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