This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
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He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize