Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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