I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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