margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
