when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
