y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.