Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
wow bdsm is so cute