she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.