Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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