k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
