You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I smell like Dick and happiness
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
