you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Edward fifth and chaser hands
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
