White coat. Heels.
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
